I am a smiler. I can’t help it. I will smile all the time. I had some senior pictures taken a while back and I smiled in every single one. That being said I had to have some redone today. My mom and I got to the park where we met a few other kids, and a band mom who offered to take a couple more shots for seniors. My mom had her own camera so both moms were positioning me this was and that and were trying to get some good serious pictures in (here’s my only serious picture I like). We did get some really good pictures though, I ran between rock wall, to rock on the floor, to grass, and railing. It was pretty fun to be the model for once, although I couldn’t do it for a living, too much work for my face, yikes! Every time I would try to make a serious face for a picture, I would purse my lips as if upset. My mom got kind of annoyed but hey, I didn’t know what else to do, all I do is smile or look somewhat like this. I really hope you enjoy this picture as much as I do. I haven’t been able to stop chuckling about it all day. Both moms agreed that I wasn’t a very good serious photo taker and that’s because it is literally in my blood to smile about things. When times are tough, they’re tough and I feel that (believe me, I get too many feels) but that won’t affect my ability to smile when I have a reason to, and I always have a reason to. I know, I know, there’s always good things in the world. But there are. And not just the things that everyone says. I like to think about a few things: I still have my memory, I can still shape my life the way I want it to be, and there will always be a waffle house that’s open.
After photos I went shopping for Mother’s Day. My dad had given me some money to spend on cards and presents. After I’d made my purchases, I still had a significant amount left so on my way home I passed a lemonade stand with two grade school girls selling iced lemonade. I got out to get a cup and instead of giving them the typical 50 cents I tried to give them some extra dollars so I just grabbed the wad on one’s I had in my wallet. As I was getting back in my car, I heard “Yes!” really hushed behind me, but then something amazing happened. One of the little girls came up to my window and handed me the 100 dollar bill that had been stuck in between the smaller bills. She told me, “I think you need this”. And I smiled said thank you, and left.
What would you have done if you were that little girl? She couldn’t have been more than 10. I rightfully gave her $104 for a cup of lemonade. I am beyond words that she gave it back. Maybe she could tell by my car that I needed whatever help I could get…
It just got me thinking about the innocence of children. When I was in grade school with my best friend, we would fight during recess sometimes. We would play with our own imaginary friends for the whole 10 minutes and glare at the other. But as soon as it was time to go to the cafeteria and eat lunch we would assume our roles as best friends. Children don’t hold onto the past. They realize that there are better things to be doing. Why waste your time being angry and upset when you can be having fun and enjoying the life you have? I love this. I’m trying to do this, and while I have to constantly remind myself to do so, I can see it starting to apply. As I said earlier, there is still so much good in the world regardless of my situation. I still have memories, I can shape my life, and waffle house is still open.
I want to go back to the smiling thing. Smiling is so powerful. Something so simple is so profound. I confuse myself when I think that tensing a few muscles around the part of the body that consumes food, share kisses, and speaks words, can initiate so much. When you smile at someone you never know their situation or what some simple muscle tensing action can do for them. A smile can be the beginning of a dear friendship, and that smile can last through every conversation. You have a different smile for each person. Sometimes it’s small, and shy. Other times, it’s inverted…that’s a frown. and if you’re lucky, it’s a completely ridiculous smile that you just can’t seem to wipe off your face. Keep those friends, they are the ones who cost the most effort, but use no energy. For as long as that goofy smile stays on your face, never let the cause leave your life.
I smile because I have something in my mind that brings me joy. Sometimes I smile for the joy that others bring me through words, actions, appearance or whatever, you get the point. Joy that comes from others is mostly involuntary on my part, I usually can’t help but crack a smile when I find something amusing. and I find lots of thing amusing. Sometimes I smile for me though. I smile because I need to reassure myself of who I am, what I believe and why I am where I am. Smiling is like glue for me. It’s hold me together internally and it helps me make connections with people around me.
I listen to quite a bit of this Bluegrass/Americana/Punk Country (that’s my favorite description) music stuff, and The Avett Brother’s are my go to. I had their Pandora station running at some point today and I heard a song that I hadn’t thought about the words before (click here). The Weight Of Lies, is about making promises and not being able to fulfill them so lies follow you where ever you go. I love this. I think promises are so binding. And it should be intimidating to make a promise. A promise to stay with someone through a marriage is a huge deal. A promise to go to the grocery store after work is a big deal. It’s you telling someone you will do something, and if you don’t, people are bound to lose confidence in you. We all need confidence, and shouldn’t jeopardize it.
If I’m going to make a promise to you, you’d better know I’m going to keep it. If you got that pinky link of binding, then you can have no doubt that I will do what I said I would, cross my heart. Promises are like words, they can’t be taken back, and they can build up so much, or cause complete havoc. We should be careful with what words we allow to leave our mouths, and the promises we bind ourselves to.
Promises can hurt people. Never make a promise you know you can’t keep. If I could sign a contract each time I made a promise I would, in a heartbeat, it would require me to think out every possible situation and scenario that could result from making a promise. And whether or not it’s worth making the commitment. But the most beautiful thing is being able to keep a promise that seemed impossible. And I’m all for achieving the impossible.
Impossible is made of, I’m possible.
Be bold and don’t be afraid of making promises and commitment, just be sure that you will follow through on your word.