Checkpoints in Friends

This morning I was thinking about personality types and why I am categorized the way I am. I took the test here. It’s really cool actually. I’m an INFJ, meaning I’m Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judgmental. I read some pretty neat articles about being this type of personality and I agreed with almost all of it. This one is my favorite, check it out.

Anyway, I was thinking about friendships and how you get to be certain types of friends.

Checkpoint 1: Acknowledgment 
To begin a connection with someone you first have to acknowledge them. Either through a smile, a wave or be crazy and introduce yourself when you first see them. This first step of admitting to someone’s presence in first stepping stone of friendship.

Checkpoint 2: Conversation 
After the awkward first meeting, the next step comes with making an effort to converse with someone. You can’t expect to be friends and never talk to each other. You’d never learn anything. Whether this talking begins by text message or verbal conversation, the checkpoint of conversation is the deal breaker for a lot of people. Some don’t want to make an effort to try and get to know a whole other human.

Sometimes the initiation of conversing comes from seeing someone in need of emotional support. Being there for someone who is emotionally drained, can greatly increase someone’s trust in you regardless of how long you’ve known each other.

Checkpoint 3: Commitment 
This next step is a big step, and might be where a lot of work/school friendships meet their end. The commitment I’m talking about is the kind when you commit to going out to get ice cream late at night because you want to spend time together getting to understand each other more. It’s the desire to get to know someone better and committing to do so.

While this may be the line for a lot of school/work friendships, this is the most common checkpoint that friends get to. Many people go out and have lunch with a friend, regularly but that is as far as they get.

Checkpoint 4: Trust 
Now this is about real trust, of course we all have friends we don’t really talk to, but we can depend on in times of need. But this trust is the confidence in someone to keep a secret, or to not react negatively to a surprising truth. This kind of trust is special because it allows two people to be connected more. Expressing experience to each other gains not only the trust of the listener, but allows a connection to strengthen between you two.

You might have differing opinions about the friendship chart, but oh well, this is how I see it.

And now It’s time for a bonus Checkpoint

Checkpoint 5: Trial 
Often times relationships are jeopardized by trials that can either completely destroy a relationship, or strengthen it. Trials are things everyone goes through and that concludes that friendly relations can go on trials too. You have one choice when making a decision, fight for what is salvageable, or give up on it completely. I love being able to say goodbye to a good relationship that served it’s time and is tired. When It’s time it’s time, you can’t force time to slow down, or move faster than it is supposed to.


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