It’s Hurts Too Much

I saw this on Pinterest the other day, and it made me sad. There’s lots of things that you can’t just simply “stand up”. If standing up is all that it took, they would have. It’s not so simple.

I had hip surgery about 3 years ago, as a freshman in high school. It was embarrassing. No one wants to be that kid at school who has to be rolled around in a wheel chair. But that was going to be me. I had surgery on St. Patrick’s Day, and got home late at night. I had to go to the bathroom, so I got help hobbling to the restroom, and when I was done, I needed help getting back to the couch. So I opened the door, and tried to stand on my own. I fell down. Of course I wasn’t going to be able to stand.

How on earth can you tell someone that when they feel like they’re drowning in their life, all they have to do is “stand up”, “get over it”, “suck it up.” You don’t do that.

I believe most things can be fixed, some by time, and a lot by effort.

But some things just hurt too much. And it will always hurt too much. There’s just something so painfully human about our ability to remember. And it seems like the only thing that can be done, is to Leave It Alone.

There’s just some memories that are so ingrained in who you are,  you can’t forget them, and you can’t embrace them.

Sometimes it doesn’t make sense to live in a certain place. Other times, it’s the boyfriend you can’t get over. Or the traumatic childhood nightmare that never left.

There is no “standing up”. There’s only turning you back, and climbing away. It’s a progressive recovery.

I’d like to offer some advice to those who feel like they can’t stand up.

Get away from it. Run. Who ever says fleeing is cowardly, is on the side with an army attacking ten men. Live to fight another day, and if necessary, get away, and come up with a strategy to defeat what is threatening you.  Find a way out, whether that means a therapist, moving somewhere new, or cutting someone out of your life. You do what you need to do to get your feet back on the ground so you don’t have to drown.

You can’t always just stand up. But there is always something that can be done.


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