I often feel like I listen too much and don’t know how to talk about myself and present myself to be the interesting person I certainly think I am. I know I have a mindset where I tend to think of myself as higher than others, which is something I try not to act on.
In conversation with people I care about I will often let people just speak and unleash a tidal wave of opinions and stories without making the fair exchange. It’s not that I don’t want to talk, it’s just that I tend to make a brief summary of what could be an interesting experience or story.
I had a conversation the other morning with a good friend of mine, and for some reason I got quite upset about what he told me. Maybe it was me holding a grudge, or being the rebellious stink I tend to be. Either way we were talking about different realms in my life and how I tend to shut people out without warning which is in a lot of ways frustrating because I know people are interesting and there are different things to like about everyone.
He mentioned that we have different realms or interests in our lives and certain people exist and interact in different realms and sometimes they overlap and sometimes they don’t. I really like this idea of having people exist in certain places without the need to exist in all of them.
Maddism #17: You don’t really need a bunch of best friends.
Being able to organize people like this helps me realize that it’s okay not to be best friends with everyone. You probably won’t get invited to certain things with them, and you shouldn’t feel obligated to invite them to do everything too.
But who gets to be in more than one realm?
This was my first question when my friend proposed the idea of realms. I wanted to know who was special enough to be in more than one, and when you gave people the opportunity to blend into more than one.
I guess that’s when you find your dear friends. You allow them into more than one area of your life and they take interest in what interests you (if they don’t already have an interest in it) and enjoy spending time with you in that realm.
Two really wonderful people just decided to step into my life and on both ends of the spectrum.
Sandy and I have been friends since the beginning of the school year, but we never really did much until the past little while. I’m really excited to find that we overlap in our interests in multiple realms and she’s fun to be around! In my opinion, she deserves to blend into some of my other realms.
This other friend has been referenced before. He still makes me smile, even right now. Haha, but my point is that he has made an incredible effort that I’ve never experienced to show me all these different realms of his life – and believe me, he has a ton. But over and over again he shows me he cares be offering to let me see a little deeper into who he is, what he likes and where he’s going.
That does lead me back into my original point of I can’t seem to find the correct time to tell about myself. Past experience has proven to me that I will be interrupted and then no one shows interest in me finishing, so I start to think why even start. Other reasons are based on the situation. I know I can talk to people incredibly well one on one, but I become less approachable in a group.
I would love to talk about myself if I was presented the opportunity to, but I seem to dismiss them when they come.
I want to have more people in different realms and I want to let people blend into different ones and get to know me better.
One more tangent that really stuck with me.
People are not boring. Each person has a story to tell, whether or not it appeals to you doesn’t mean that their story is any less exciting, or meaningful. Once you get to the point where you can understand others and understand their purpose in telling you their story maybe then you’ll realize that there is something incredible in everyone. And once you start finding gems in people, it tends to be hard to stop.
People are fascinating and the world is beautiful.