How to Feel About People

I think as people we have an opinion on just about everything. Especially about other people. And I don’t think it’s wrong. However, I think prematurely acting on opinions that turn out to be false is wrong.

But then how do you act towards people based on how you feel? Is it appropriate to monitor your feelings based on how you think others would feel? I’m kind of caught in the middle on this one. Part of me feels obligated to make sure I don’t hurt other’s feelings but another instinct is to make sure I can express my feelings in a way that is true and honest.

I’ve got 2 situations.

Situation 1: 
The person in my life has turned toxic, but I feel obligated to try and keep a presence in their life. They used to mean so much to me, but it all fell apart so quickly. It would be possible to turn our situation around and repair certain parts of what used to be a friendship. But it would never be as perfect as it used to be.

So, I feel the need to shut them out of my life. They’ve been disconnected for a while now but I will admit there is an unhealthy amount of Facebook stalking of not just my friend, but new friends that have come into their life, pictures they’ve posted, and rereading conversations we’ve had.

I know it wouldn’t effect them for me to unfriend them, block them, and delete conversations, but there’s still hesitation. Why? It should be fine for me to just do it, would the disconnection hurt me? Which is worse, the shameful watching, or the pain from cutting it all off?

I went with complete disconnect, and it’s hard, but I’m just hoping I get used to it.

Situation 2:
Another person in my life has been making an effort to show me they care, and I know I reciprocate it, but I want to keep going. I’m an emotional ball and I love to express it. I feel the need to tell them how much I care, but something in me says “wait”. I feel the need to wait and let it happen – wait to make sure they’re ready.

But if I’m always waiting for people to feel the same how do I know what I really feel? When is it okay to say “I love you”?

How much should I monitor myself for the comfort of others?


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